Review -21

Shiduch Questions
How smart is he ?

One needs to be careful to ascertain the level of Torah knowledge that is being requested. To Know how to learn , can have numerous interpretations & it depends on many factors.
What about street smarts ?
One must be careful to avoid making it sound like the person is a fool , if he is not that street smart.
What about health issues ?
It may be revealed in an accurate manner. But one may not say the person seems to have a weakness , if that is not an illness.
What about saying old historical issues about either side ?
It is not permitted.
What about if there are pritzus issues ?

One should say.
What if you think one side may not fulfill their monetary commitments ?

*Consider , maybe the other side is planning the same & it is a match.
Thus don't say a thing.

* Don't jump to conclusions. There are people who don't seem to have much , but they have saved for years to put funds aside to support their children studying Torah.

Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 20

Shiduchim
If there is information of either side following apikores , chas vesholom ,
One needs to reveal such info. If it is not definite , they should be told to check it out.
Even if the shiduch has been completed & this info might break it up , it is still a Mitzva to reveal this.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review -19

One who hears someone speaking Loshon Hora against others & he anticipates that he will keep on delivering his sinful message to others , it is better to try to intercept the evil by telling those people what may happen. Of course the 7 conditions are required.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 18

The victim himself may speak to those who might help him with the 7 conditions as follows -

1- He must be sure.
2 - He must check on all the halachic details
3- search for a way to confront & straighten out the issue.
4- it may be sufficient his need to calm his worries.
5- if can accomplish his purpose even by diminishing the crime a bit that would be better.
6- this may change if the perpetrator would refuse to obey Beis Din.
7- be careful not to exaggerate.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 17

We require 7 conditions before one is permitted to say constructive words -
1- To be sure of the facts

2- to be sure that there is no halachic justification for the seeming injustice.

3- first offer gentle rebuke

4- the intention should be only to help the unfortunate victim , to lessen the suffering of the victim ,
- to get people to avoid evil & improve their ways.
* This can only work if the speaker & the listeners are not guilty of the same sins they are denouncing.

5- there is no alternative to avoid the loshon hora or to delete the name of the perpetrator.
6 - The results will not be more than what Beis Din would decide if the case came to them.
7- don't exaggerate the crime.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review -16

Dealing with an Apikores
There is a Mitzva to speak against one who denies the Torah or any portion of the Torah.
If you don't know about this person yourself , but others tell you , you need to be cautious & to warn others to investigate.
If one refuses to listen to Beis Din without a valid excuse , we may also demean him.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review -15

Dealing with an outright sinner
One may speak negatively about those who are obviously wicked -

- if you saw the wicked deeds.
- they are definite sins.
- your purpose of speaking is to teach people to stay away until the person improves.
- don't exaggerate.
- speak in public also if possible.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review -14

How to think
If one sees an average person doing something wrong -
Judge them favorably
* maybe he didn't realize what he did.
If he is a tzadik type person -
Even if what he did seems more negative , one has to judge him favorably.
***
If there is no excuse -
One should speak to the person privately.

Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 13

How to Repent
If someone did listen , even though he did not accept any of it -

He should try to re frame the story to explain it in a positive light.
If that won't work - wait until the speaker leaves & explain it to all of the others.

If he did believe it -
Work on disbelieve it & decide not to transgeress anymore. & confess to Hashem. Also go back to the speaker & change his feelings.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 12

How to React
If others speak gossip -

1- explain gently & firmly that it is not permitted.

2- if that will make things worse , change the topic
3 - if that fails - leave the scene or use your fingers as ear plugs.

4 - if that's not possible
A - decide not to believe the words ,
B - to be upset with being there

C- sit as a silent stone & better yet with an angry face.
***
Think ahead - avoid such a group
Don't live in such areas or sit near such people.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 11

Even if the information seems so true , one must be careful not to start believing it.
We need to keep in check , not to believe it , only to be cautious to be on guard.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 10

One may not even listen to words of Loshon Hora , even if he does not plan to believe the words.
However , one may listen if there is a chance it may bring about some benefit such as to protect oneself or others from trouble.
But he may only listen if the speaker also has constructive intentions or the speaker began talking to others before he came.
Thus if someone begins saying negative about someone , we should ask first - is this relevant for me in the future. ?
If someone complains about others , make sure to get all the details so that you can clarify & rectify the situation properly.
When one is only allowed to be careful , but not to believe the Loshon Hora , one may not act in any way different than to treat that person as a fellow Jew.
For example , if there were poor people who were eligible to receive charity , but now there are rumors that they are a fraud , one must still give them charity until the matter is clarified.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review -9

One may not believe gossip even if the speaker seems reliable , or its in print or many seem to say it and even if the person who is being vilified is there & he does not deny it.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 8

One may not accept gossip about any Jew unless
* it was clarified at Beis Din that the person is completely anti TORAH.
* or the person is an apikores on an informer.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review -7

Don't Believe.
One may not listen to or believe a negative story about others.

If someone tells you that they lost their case at Beis Din who must be corrupt etc. What should you say ?

Say that Beis Din tries to do their best. If you lost , obviously Hashem had it happen for some reason. If you should have won the case , Hashem will surely reimburse your loss some other way.
You are permitted to return to Beis Din & ask for an explanation , but you may not speak Loshon Hora against them.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Reveiw - 6

How to Repent
If no one accepted his words-
Regret it ,
Confess to Hashem
& accept to refrain.
If the words had some impact
He needs to first ask the person for forgiveness. Or if possible go back & intercept the words by saying , I made an error etc.
We need to always study & review these halachos & learn them with our family & friends.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 5

One may not say any negative about others even if it is the factual truth., even if the victim dosent mind.

Even if he is only joking & even if he is only speaking to relatives.
Even if he may lose his job for not saying it , it is forbidden.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 4

One may not say , I can't tell you about so & so , implying that there is what do say.
Don't say , too many praises about someone , which may lead someone to say , but.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review -3

Be Careful
If someone asks you
Who did that ?
Watch out before saying , I didn't do it.

Or if there was a meeting & they decided against someone , you may not say , I was on your side but I was outvoted.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review - 2

One may not say -

He said a lie.
He dosent spend his money properly for a Mitzva.
He does not want to study Torah.
He does not like to help others.
He does not give loans.
He does not know much.
He is silly.
He is not a good craftsman.
His merchandise is deficient.
He is weak or not too smart.
He is not too rich.
He is arrogant or hot tempered.
He is only interested in his bottom line.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Review Notes on Sefer Chofetz Chaim in 26 paragraphs

Preface
There are 35 possible transgressions that one may violate if he keeps on talking without learning the halachic guidelines.

1 - there are 2 types of Loshon Hora - saying negative things about a person , or saying words that may cause harm.
* it depends on the person. For example , to say - he only learns 3 hours a day or he only gives 500 a month to charity.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com

Learning from the Best -92.

Who is wise ?
One who learns from all people. Avos 4:1.
Why from all , why not from one good person ?
Even great people may not be perfect. We are human & have many types of challenges.
The way to succeed is to learn the right lessons from many types of people. Take the best lessons from the best & avoid the negative. Focus on what you need to learn with Hashems help.
Even a persons shortcoming can serve as a vital lesson that we are vulnerable & need to strive to overcome the challenges. Every setback can stimulate us & serve as a stepping stone to a greater level of growth.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com