Thursday, December 9, 2010

Fw: A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Z"L # 65 (Television & The Aged)

Worthwhile lesson.

Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.

From: "Avrohom Tikotzky" <>
Sender: "Avrohom Tikotzky" <>
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2010 10:10:13 -0500
To: Rabbi Goldberger<>
ReplyTo: "Avrohom Tikotzky" <>
Subject: A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Z"L # 65 (Television & The Aged)

Tape 485 @ 1:25:04             Parshas Vayigash 5771
This email is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Would watching television be permitted for old women in nursing homes who have no other interests?
And the answer is, old women in nursing homes, would it be right for them to drink poison if they have nothing else to do? You have to realize that drinking poison is much more beneficial than watching television, especially for old people. A young person who watches television ruins his mind, it ruins his Neshama, but still there’s some hope left, maybe before he dies he'll repent and maybe he'll learn a lot of Mesilas Yeshorim and erase from his mind part of what he listened to, what he saw.

    But old people just before they die, they have to purify themselves most, and when they pollute their minds in their last days, that's what they take with them to the Next World. They take all the Arayos, all the wickedness with them in the Next World. Not because they'll practice it, they’re too old to practice immorality, but they have it in their heads. Immorality in the head of an old man is the very worst thing.

    Here's an old man, he can't go out in the street, you go to visit him in his house, he's sitting and looking at the television. Gevald! Gevald! His children are murdering him. He should say Tehillim in his last days, he should speak to Hashem in his last days, he should prepare himself. He's reading something that's dirty, or looking at dirty magazines, that the children brought up for the old folks to enjoy before they die. He's taking all that garbage with him in the Next World.

     Old people especially have to prepare, and that's why television for old women in the nursing homes, is the very worst thing you can do to them.

Good Shabbos To All
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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Fw: How to Fix Shmiras Ainayim Issues

Thank you

Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.

From: Yaakov Simon <>
Date: Tue, 7 Dec 2010 20:31:43 -0500
To: Rabbi Goldberger<>
Subject: How to Fix Shmiras Ainayim Issues

Dear Rabbi Goldberger, shlita

Every Internet-aacessing Jew faces some degree of shmiras ainayim problem.  Below is an email coming from a charity organization that speaks to every Jew on the LATTER'S level.  Please encourage your email subscribers to read the below email.  The charity speaks more to the individual, and less to the parents in this email, gathering their experience with Jews who have broken the tznius code of the Torah.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <>
Date: Tue, Dec 7, 2010 at 6:26 PM
Subject: GYE in a Nutshell - Chizuk E-mail #910

GuardYourEyes Chizuk E-Mail (No. 910)

Getting stronger every day!


Tuesday ~ 30 Kislev, 5771  ~ December 7, 2010
Rosh Chodesh Teves ~ Day 6 of Chanukah


Important Announcement


We're trying to develop a GYE system of recovery based on "Levels" for the new website we're developing, to simplify the system for new-comers and old-comers alike. We believe this new system will make it much easier for people to quickly pinpoint what suggestions they should try.

We are looking for feedback on what we have come up with so far (see below). Please send your feedback to

Thank you and a Freilichen Chanukah and a Gut Chodesh!

The GuardYourEyes Program in a Nut-Shell


GuardYour Eyes uses a unique approach to help people, by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for "Shmiras Ainayim" and "Shmiras Habris". We have tried to put together here - in a nut-shell, the suggestions that we feel are best for the various different levels of this struggle.


Two Important Notes:


1) The term "acting out" is used below to mean either viewing inappropriate material and/or masturbation. It also includes promiscuous behaviors (clubs, massage parlors or worse) but these behaviors should generally be treated as more severe levels of addiction.


2) Each new, more advanced level of the struggle/addiction (below) automatically includes the suggestions given for the previous levels. We only bring the NEW suggestions for each level, but highly encourage that the suggestions of the previous levels be tried as well.



The Eight Levels:

Can you find yourself below?


Level 1. I struggle with shmiras ainayim, desires and fantasies (like most normal males).




-         Filters: Get a good filter for all your internet enabled devices. We can help you find what's best for you on our website, or on our filter hotline (coming soon). Be in touch with our filter Gabai at We highly advise having your wife, a friend or the filter Gabai hold the password/s for you.


-         Daily Chizuk: Sign up to the daily 'Shmiras Ainayim' Chizuk e-mails, which offer daily tips and chizuk on dealing with today's environment, guarding our eyes, dealing with bad thoughts, struggling with the Yetzer Hara, etc.


-         Read Up: The GYE website has hundreds of inspiring articles which can provide you with tips and chizuk on dealing with today's environment, guarding our eyes, dealing with bad thoughts, etc.


-         Be aware: The GYE website provides articles, shiurim and video clips (coming soon) from mechanchim, Rabbanim and experts, to help you be informed and up-to-date on the spiritual dangers of today's technology.


-         Join the Community: Join our "Prevention" forum (coming soon) to exchange ideas with other balabatim, parents and Mechanchim looking for the best solutions on how to deal with the nisyonos of our generation, both for ourselves and for our children.



Level 2. I have stumbled and 'acted-out' (see definition in note 1 above) on rare occasions, but I believe I can abstain 'indefinitely' if I put in some effort and remain determined.




-         Reporting Software: Install Reporting Software (on top of your filter) to have lists of all questionable websites sent to a friend or Rav that you respect and would be ashamed to disappoint. We suggest either or eBlaster from Spectorsoft. Give the password/s to the filter Gabai.


-         Attitude and Perspective: Read the 30 principles in Part 1 of the GYE Handbook to understand the nature of this struggle, and to learn how to use it as a spring-board for personal growth and divine service.


-         Shmiras Ainayim Fences: Build up stronger fences for your eyes such as: avoiding mixed areas where possible, avoiding sites like Facebook, YouTube, triggering movies, magazines, etc. (Read tool #2 of the GYE handbook).



Level 3. I can abstain from 'acting-out' for long periods of time (more than 90 days), but somehow I keep falling into it again.




-         Acceptance: Addiction means something we want to stop but can't. Accept that you may have an "Addiction". Although there are many levels of addiction, the rules of the game change once we recognize this important truth about ourselves.


-         Stronger Daily Chizuk: Sign up for the 'Breaking Free' daily chizuk E-mails and get tips, advice and personal stories from the GYE community every day, on how to break free of these addictive behaviors.


-         Strong Fences: Make strong fences for yourself, such as writing a list of things to do before acting-out, making kabalos, etc. (Read tool #3 of the GYE Handbook).


-         The TaPHSiC Method: Study and apply the TaPHSiC Method described on our website. This is one of the best methods for frum people suffering from low-level addictions. It teaches us how to balance our "Yiras Shamayim" (which doesn't generally work very well in addictions) with "Physical discomfort", which is something that works a lot better. By wisely combining the two, we can produce a fool-proof fence to protect ourselves from the addictive behaviors.


-         Stronger Shmiras Ainayim fences: Get serious about this. Recognize how easily triggered we are. We need to start avoiding all non-Jewish movies, newspapers, magazines, and even non-Jewish news websites, entertainment, etc.


-         Read up: Read through the hundreds of articles on our website, such as the Tips, Q&A and Stories to learn more about beating these addictive behaviors.


-         Kosher Isle: When feeling bored or weak, use our "Kosher Isle" to find Kosher activity suggestions, Kosher news sites, entertainment, shiurim and much more!


Level 4. I've tried to stop many times, but I can't generally abstain from 'acting-out' for significant periods of time (90 days or more).




-         Meaningful Activities: Try to find alternate fulfillment in your life, such as chesed projects, jobs, hobbies and activities that can help you feel inner satisfaction, keep you connected to the real world and out of isolation. (See tool #6 in the GYE Handbook).


-         Cutting Down: "The more you feed it the more you need it". Start cutting down over time by making red lines for yourself. Slowly wean yourself of these behaviors by pushing the battle lines back further and further. (See tool #7 in the GYE Handbook).


-         The 90-Day Journey: Take the "90 Day" leap of faith and stay clean for a full 90 days to break the addictive pattern in the mind. Use our 90-Day chart system to appreciate your progress and get encouraging e-mails as you advance to new levels. (See tool #8 in the GYE Handbook).



Level 5. I've tried everything in levels 1-4 and I still can't stay stopped.




Anonymous 'Virtual' Support - Reach out to OTHERS:


-         Forums: Join the forum to get support from the rest of the GYE community. Tell your story, post a log of your journey, reach out for help when feeling weak - and strengthen each other. The forum is a life-line of chizuk and support for hundreds of people in exactly your situation.


-         Chat-Rooms: Chat with others in the GYE chat-rooms (coming soon).


-         Social Network: Cultivate a group of "Friends" to stay in touch with through GYE's cutting edge "social-network" system (coming soon).


-         A Partner: Get a partner through GYE's partner/sponsor system. Be in touch by e-mail/chat daily. Learn honesty, integrity and get accountability. Strengthen each other.



Level 6. I've tried everything in levels 1-5 and I still can't stay stopped.




Anonymous 'Phone' Support - Reach out to people you can hear and talk with:


-         The GYE Hotline: Call our hotlines / experts for advice. (Coming soon: the new 'one-number' GYE international hotline - 24/7!)


-         The 12-Steps: Study / Work the 12-Steps. Learn the secrets behind this world-renowned program that has helped millions of people around the world break free of all types of addictive behaviors. (See tool #14 in the GYE Handbook).


-         12-Step Phone Conferences: Join GYE's multiple 12-Step phone conferences throughout the week. Work the powerful 12-Step program along with another group of people in your situation, with guidance from an experienced moderator. GYE has phone conferences almost every day of the week - morning, noon and night!


-         A Sponsor: Get a sponsor through GYE's partner/sponsor system. A sponsor is someone clean for over 90 days, who can guide you and share what works for him.


-         Phone Partner: Get a partner to be in touch with by phone as often as possible (through GYE's partner/sponsor system).


-         Build a Personal Phone Group: Have a group of friends to call when feeling weak. PM friends on the forum and ask them for their telephone numbers, or join Duvid Chaim's phone group to get access to his phone-roster (currently with over 50 people).


-         The GYE Phone community: Join the 'GYE Phone community' (coming soon) and get access to hundreds of numbers of people like you who want a community to reach out to.


Level 7. I've tried everything in levels 1-6 and I still can't stay stopped.




'Live' Support - Reach out to others face-to-face:


-         Therapy: See GYE's therapist referral pages to find a therapist / psychologist who is trained in addictions. Open up fully to another human being, face to face. Discover the root causes. Learn cognitive methods to beat addictive thinking and behaviors.


-         Live 12-Step SA Groups / GYE Groups: Get the power of live-group support. Find an SA group in your area, or apply to join a live GYE group in your community (coming soon). Let go of the shame and open up to others. Find that you're not alone, at all. Use the power of the group to help you fight this disease, which is often much stronger than we are. Work the steps with the group.


-         A Sponsor: Work the 12-Steps with an experienced sponsor. Let go of the need to be "in charge" and listen to another human being. Let your sponsor guide you, and be ready to listen to whatever he tells you. Change from being a 'self-centered' person to a 'G-d centered' person.


Level 8. I've tried everything in levels 1-7 and I still can't stay stopped. It seems that inner change is not possible with me!




-         Psychiatrist/Medication: A psychiatrist may be able to prescribe medications to help take the "edge" off the underlying symptoms that may be causing the addiction, such as OCD, depression, low self-esteem and other common mental conditions that can be facilitating the addictive behaviors. (See tool #16 of the GYE Handbook).


-         Rehab: GYE has a list of rehab options with both inpatient and outpatient care for addictive behaviors. A complete change of environment, professional help and a regimen of intense workshops and therapy may be what it takes to finally break free (See tool #17 of the GYE Handbook).

-     Last Resort: For those who are in danger of harming others, there are chemical castration methods that are safe, have few side-effects and are not permanent. (See tool #18 of the GYE Handbook).


Help us Help Others

Every Little Bit Counts


GYE is a recognized 501(c)(3) organization and donations to us are tax deductible.

Please use the PayPal options on the right side of our website to donate whatever you can, to help us continue to save lives, marriages and families.

Tizke Lemitzvos!

Click here for a ground-breaking letter of support from Dr. Rabbi Avraham J. Twerski, and Click here for a wonderful Haskama from the Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Aharon Feldman, a member of the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah.

Quick Links

Our Websites

~~~~~~~~~~ - The original site with hundreds of pages of stories, tips, etc... - Our new cutting edge blog site with 10 different categories!

e-Books that will change your life!
Updated copy of our handbook (which combines the Attitude handbook and the Tools handbook into one, and has many new things added).
The White-Book - The SA "Big Book" based on the 12-Steps of AA

Important Links...
Browse previous E-Mails - Click on the numbers at the top of the page
The Forum - Join this vibrant community of warriors!
12-Step Phone Conferences - Four different groups to choose from!
Hotlines - Call for advice on how to get started!
Contact Us

The Tikun Haklalli is a powerful group of Psalms which rectify the damage caused from sins related to the Brit and endow one with strength against the Yetzer Hara. The Psalms to recite are: 16, 32, 41, 42, 59,77, 90, 105, 137, 150.

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GuardUrEyes | 1 Teshuvah Street | Yerushalayim Shel Malah | 11111 | Israel

Now is Good

If you are undecided on which way to turn , which truck to follow , remember that Hashem knows what is best for you & He can guide you in every decision. All you need to do is ask Hashem for His input.
Hashem can show you He is with you every step you take.
He lights our way as the Chanuka lights remind us.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Fw: aaasssaaaa.jpg


Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.

-----Original Message-----
Date: Mon, 6 Dec 2010 16:16:55
To: <>
Subject: aaasssaaaa.jpg

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed