Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
-----Original Message-----
From: "Mordechai - Shalom Bayis 911" <Mordechai@ShalomBayis911.org>
Sender: 288608@priorityoneemail.com
Date: Tue, 09 Jun 2015 01:34:06
To: Rav Moshe<rabbig@sakar.com>
Reply-To: Mordechai@ShalomBayis911.org
Subject: Speak softly and carry a lot of wisdom
Hi Rav,
There's a story told about someone who saw their
rabbi's notes left on the lectern. In the margin
were notes about how to deliver different parts of
his message. One note said, "Slow down here and
emphasize." Another said, "Move away from the
lectern and approach the congregation." At one
point the note in the margin said, "Weak argument
here. Yell loudly."
Marriages deteriorate partly because of how
spouses speak to each other. I want to emphasize:
I'm not talking about what you say; I'm talking
about how you say it. Screaming at each other can
ruin things.
And like the rabbi giving a drusha, very often
people raise their voice when their message lacks
merit. Screaming indicates a weakness in your
argument.
On the other hand, if you words are measured,
intelligent, and sensitive, you can speak softly
and you'll be heard. In fact, if you speak softly,
you're more likely to be heard.
Shlomo Hamelach said, "The gentle words of the
wise are heard above the shouts of a king over
fools."
Gentle words spoken with wisdom get the most
attention.
When you yell at someone, they get defensive. It's
a natural protective response. It doesn't matter
how right you are or how much sense you make.
Ironically, if you scream, it's hard to hear you.
Keep this important lesson in mind, share it with
your spouse if you think that'll be helpful, and
practice speaking softly. Test it out and see if
lowering your voice doesn't get you heard.
Mordechai
Founder & Director
www.ShalomBayis911.org
4701 Falls Road
Baltimore, MD 21209
Copyright Mordechai Yaakov
If you no longer wish to receive communication from us:
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Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Monday, June 8, 2015
Fw: Wealth from Hashem
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 8 Jun 2015 11:01:28 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Wealth from Hashem
draft attached...copy tomorrow
Monday, June 1, 2015
Fw: To Know Hashem
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 1 Jun 2015 13:23:16 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: To Know Hashem
draft attached...copy tomorrow
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Fw: Time to Dream
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 26 May 2015 15:31:55 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Time to Dream
draft attached...copy tomorrow
Monday, May 18, 2015
Fw: Your way or his way
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 18 May 2015 19:14:04 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Your way or his way
draft attached...copy tomorrow
Monday, May 11, 2015
Fw: Choosing to be happy
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 11 May 2015 12:00:25 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Choosing to be happy
draft attached...copy tomorrow
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Fw: How to Quench Your Thirst
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 5 May 2015 12:50:58 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: How to Quench Your Thirst
draft attached...copy tomorrow
Monday, May 4, 2015
Fw: You blew it? It's okay; I'll love you anyway.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
-----Original Message-----
From: "Mordechai - Shalom Bayis 911" <Mordechai@ShalomBayis911.org>
Sender: 288608@priorityoneemail.com
Date: Mon, 04 May 2015 00:24:35
To: Rav Moshe<rabbig@sakar.com>
Reply-To: Mordechai@ShalomBayis911.org
Subject: You blew it? It's okay; I'll love you anyway.
Hi Rav,
In Genesis, Hashem asks Adam and Chava not to eat
from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. After
being tempted by the serpent, Adam and Chava
disobey Hashem and eat from the tree.
Yup, they blew it.
And, of course, your spouse blows it sometimes
too.
But we can learn a lot about how to conduct
ourselves in our marriage when our spouse blows it
by how Hashem treats Adam and Chava after their
blunder. You know what He does? He realizes what
they need and He gives it to them.
After Adam and Chava disobey Hashem they realize
they're naked and they feel embarrassed. Hashem
sees that they're embarrassed so he gives them
clothing.
He gives them clothing? Shouldn't He let them
suffer the consequences of their choice? Isn't He
condoning their behavior by continuing to care for
them? Let them be embarrassed, right?
No.
Love gives. Period. It's not complicated. And
that's what makes it so hard.
Loving someone means taking care of them, giving
them what they need, whether they deserve it or
not. In fact, it's that kind of unconditional
giving and caring that prevents a single mistake
in a marriage from spiraling out of control and
leading to more mistakes.
You see, usually, when one spouse blows it, the
other spouse uses that as justification to blow it
themselves. Of course, that only makes matters
worse.
But imagine if every time your spouse made a
mistake you tended to their need that was created
by that mistake.
For example, let's say you ask your spouse not to
leave the sewing box at the top of the basement
steps because if it gets knocked down it'll empty
and make a big mess. They ignore you and do it
anyway. And, in fact, your dog knocks the sewing
box down the basement steps and it makes a huge
mess.
What does your spouse need now?
Your spouse would need 2 things, I think:
1. Help cleaning up the sewing box pieces.
2. Relief from feeling stupid and wrong.
Normally, most spouses would say "I told you not
to"... and leave their spouse to clean up the mess
themselves; essentially allowing them to suffer
the practical and emotional consequences of their
mistake. This, of course, makes matters worse
between husband and wife, and begins the downward
spiral.
But why not be more like Hashem was with Adam and
Chava. It's true your spouse blew it, but that
created needs which you can now fulfill. You might
say to your spouse, "I told that dog to stay away
from the sewing box" (shifting the blame to the
dog and relieving their emotional guilt). And then
you might help them with the clean up (relieving
their practical burden).
There's no doubt that giving your spouse what they
need in the face of their mistake is a difficult
choice for you to make, but consider the
difference it would make in your marriage.
When your spouse makes their next mistake (that
won't take more than a week, right?), instead of
letting them suffer the consequences of their
choice, ease their pain. Whatever need your spouse
might have as a result of their mistake, take care
of it. Basically Rav, be like Hashem. I
know it's a tall task, but you can do it! And
it'll make a heavens worth of difference in your
marriage.
Mordechai
Founder & Director
www.ShalomBayis911.org
4701 Falls Road
Baltimore, MD 21209
Copyright Mordechai Yaakov
If you no longer wish to receive communication from us:
http://autocontactor.com/o?r=16e344cb1170489c9068b3e7d2b8484e&d=101&arid=824325&artid=1971465
To update your contact information:
http://autocontactor.com/o?c=1&r=16e344cb1170489c9068b3e7d2b8484e&d=101&arid=824325&artid=1971465
www.GemsofTorah.com
-----Original Message-----
From: "Mordechai - Shalom Bayis 911" <Mordechai@ShalomBayis911.org>
Sender: 288608@priorityoneemail.com
Date: Mon, 04 May 2015 00:24:35
To: Rav Moshe<rabbig@sakar.com>
Reply-To: Mordechai@ShalomBayis911.org
Subject: You blew it? It's okay; I'll love you anyway.
Hi Rav,
In Genesis, Hashem asks Adam and Chava not to eat
from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. After
being tempted by the serpent, Adam and Chava
disobey Hashem and eat from the tree.
Yup, they blew it.
And, of course, your spouse blows it sometimes
too.
But we can learn a lot about how to conduct
ourselves in our marriage when our spouse blows it
by how Hashem treats Adam and Chava after their
blunder. You know what He does? He realizes what
they need and He gives it to them.
After Adam and Chava disobey Hashem they realize
they're naked and they feel embarrassed. Hashem
sees that they're embarrassed so he gives them
clothing.
He gives them clothing? Shouldn't He let them
suffer the consequences of their choice? Isn't He
condoning their behavior by continuing to care for
them? Let them be embarrassed, right?
No.
Love gives. Period. It's not complicated. And
that's what makes it so hard.
Loving someone means taking care of them, giving
them what they need, whether they deserve it or
not. In fact, it's that kind of unconditional
giving and caring that prevents a single mistake
in a marriage from spiraling out of control and
leading to more mistakes.
You see, usually, when one spouse blows it, the
other spouse uses that as justification to blow it
themselves. Of course, that only makes matters
worse.
But imagine if every time your spouse made a
mistake you tended to their need that was created
by that mistake.
For example, let's say you ask your spouse not to
leave the sewing box at the top of the basement
steps because if it gets knocked down it'll empty
and make a big mess. They ignore you and do it
anyway. And, in fact, your dog knocks the sewing
box down the basement steps and it makes a huge
mess.
What does your spouse need now?
Your spouse would need 2 things, I think:
1. Help cleaning up the sewing box pieces.
2. Relief from feeling stupid and wrong.
Normally, most spouses would say "I told you not
to"... and leave their spouse to clean up the mess
themselves; essentially allowing them to suffer
the practical and emotional consequences of their
mistake. This, of course, makes matters worse
between husband and wife, and begins the downward
spiral.
But why not be more like Hashem was with Adam and
Chava. It's true your spouse blew it, but that
created needs which you can now fulfill. You might
say to your spouse, "I told that dog to stay away
from the sewing box" (shifting the blame to the
dog and relieving their emotional guilt). And then
you might help them with the clean up (relieving
their practical burden).
There's no doubt that giving your spouse what they
need in the face of their mistake is a difficult
choice for you to make, but consider the
difference it would make in your marriage.
When your spouse makes their next mistake (that
won't take more than a week, right?), instead of
letting them suffer the consequences of their
choice, ease their pain. Whatever need your spouse
might have as a result of their mistake, take care
of it. Basically Rav, be like Hashem. I
know it's a tall task, but you can do it! And
it'll make a heavens worth of difference in your
marriage.
Mordechai
Founder & Director
www.ShalomBayis911.org
4701 Falls Road
Baltimore, MD 21209
Copyright Mordechai Yaakov
If you no longer wish to receive communication from us:
http://autocontactor.com/o?r=16e344cb1170489c9068b3e7d2b8484e&d=101&arid=824325&artid=1971465
To update your contact information:
http://autocontactor.com/o?c=1&r=16e344cb1170489c9068b3e7d2b8484e&d=101&arid=824325&artid=1971465
Monday, April 27, 2015
Fw: Home Vision
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 27 Apr 2015 12:21:27 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Home Vision
draft file attached...copy tomorrow
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Instead of
Complaining that Roses have some thorns , thank Hashem that thorns have Roses for us to enjoy.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
Monday, April 13, 2015
Fw:
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 13 Apr 2015 10:29:02 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Re:
...so far
On Mon, Apr 13, 2015 at 10:24 AM, Rabbi Goldberger <rabbig@sakar.com> wrote:
Hi
If you have some pages done from the beginning of the Breathing project , it would help if you send what you have. Thanks
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
Friday, April 3, 2015
Fw: Choose Wealth / Choose Prayer w/ revisions
All the best.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 3 Apr 2015 08:58:12 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Cc: D. Barry Bronstein<bronsteindb@yahoo.com>; michael rosensaft<mrosey43@gmail.com>
Subject: Choose Wealth / Choose Prayer w/ revisions
files attached...a Chag Kasher V'Sameach!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Fw: Choose Prayer
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 31 Mar 2015 21:44:03 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Choose Prayer
draft file attached...copy tomorrow iy"H
Friday, March 27, 2015
Pesach coming
A bumper sticker I saw :
Choose
FROG
Full , Reliance ,On , G-D.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
Choose
FROG
Full , Reliance ,On , G-D.
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Fw: Choose to Honor - revised
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 25 Mar 2015 10:32:37 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Cc: D. Barry Bronstein<bronsteindb@yahoo.com>; michael rosensaft<mrosey43@gmail.com>
Subject: Choose to Honor - revised
file attached.
Monday, March 23, 2015
Fw: Choose to Honor
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 23 Mar 2015 13:11:40 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Choose to Honor
draft file attached...copy tomorrow iy"H
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Fw: Choose Your Path w/ revisions
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 2015 10:28:12 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Cc: D. Barry Bronstein<bronsteindb@yahoo.com>; michael rosensaft<mrosey43@gmail.com>
Subject: Choose Your Path w/ revisions
file attached
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Fw: Choose Kindness (revised)
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 13 Mar 2015 10:25:37 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Cc: D. Barry Bronstein<bronsteindb@yahoo.com>
Subject: Choose Kindness (revised)
file attached...a guten Shabos
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Fw: Choose Kindness
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 12 Mar 2015 12:32:40 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Choose Kindness
draft file attached...copy tomorrow iy"H
Monday, March 9, 2015
Fw: Choose Joy
Now may be a good time for a gem of Torah study.
www.GemsofTorah.com
www.GemsofTorah.com
From: michael kaplan <mjkaplan18@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 9 Mar 2015 12:19:45 -0400
To: Rabbi Moshe Goldberger<rabbig@sakar.com>
Subject: Choose Joy
draft file attached...copy tomorrow
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